**I am currently on a 30 Days to Healthy Living Detox cleanse. I don't trust myself that I won't cheat (really, how long can I go without coffee??) and to hold myself accountable, I am forcing myself to sit down each day and tell my day as it was.***
I like to think of myself as a healthy eater (what! a cleanse? I don't eat fast food, frozen food, or processed food - I don't need no stinkin' cleanse!). However today, I got a reality check. Not able to fall into habitual, robot mode, I learned that a typical meal is 1 of 3 options: throw cheese on bread, grab a handful of chocolate chips, devour Atticus' leftovers.
One of the things I have really come to understand with yoga is that EVERYTHING Is connected: A pain in your shoulder may be an injury in your hip, observing one aspect of yourself (like your eating) will reveal all aspects of you. I leak money. Driving back from a hike with Atticus I kept craving the habitual stop and grab a coffee (it was overcast, cool day). I realized that I spend my days easily grabbing a coffee here, buying a bit to eat there. Because I can't drink coffee, eat sugar, eat gluten, etc, I also can't mindlessly stop somewhere grab a coffee, muffin, and sandwich from the co-op. I couldn't spend money on autopilot...and it felt great, it felt awkward.
Moving Into the Driver's Seat
In fact, I can't do anything on autopilot. I see a news heading that makes me sad, scared, or pissed off, and I can't grab a handful of chocolate. I had to cognitively process my thoughts and emotions (Whaaa!??). I am bored, I reach for my phone. Is that really how I want to spend my time? I scroll and get bored. I decide to go outside and garden. I bring my son with me. We see a dead moth and three snails. We pull out roots and then read a book. Everything seems to have a clarity today that I appreciated. Tomorrow? Well, let's see what tomorrow brings.