**I am currently on Arbonne's 30 Days to Healthy Living program. I don't trust myself that I won't cheat (really, how long can I go without coffee??) and to hold myself accountable, I am forcing myself to sit down each day and tell my day as it was.***
Friday night on the way to see Wonder Woman, a girlfriend asked me why I was doing this cleanse. I had to think for a moment, then answered I want to know that I can do it. I want to know for at least 30 days, I can stick to something. I feel like I am a quitter - a big dreamer that gets sidetracked easily. The truth is, I don't push myself when things are tough; I talk myself out of going for what I really want in life. I let excuses rule me. I want to know I can set a goal and stick to it. I want to develop discipline.
Yoga requires discipline.
In yoga we are learning to direct all our energy and focus to our present activity. In our modern world this is very difficult. For example, most of us our slaves to our phones. We are unable to focus for too long before picking up our phones and scrolling, afraid to leave the house without it, and checking it (sometime interrupting face-to-face interactions) when it beeps, lights up or rings. The discipline to sustain focus is hard and as our world offers more distractions, the muscle of discipline becomes more important to develop.
This weekend I realized how my discipline is becoming stronger. Like on Day 9, yesterday I had to fight the urges to cheat - to just go buy that coffee. Or tonight, I could simply pick an edge of cheese off my son's pizza. Who would know? Every time an urge arises, I have to reevaluate what I want in the long run.
Getting Comfortable with the Uncomfortable
Because everything is connected, this emerging discipline is pouring over into other parts of my life: I am getting comfortable with the uncomfortable. Instead of fidgeting to avoid really experiencing a moment, I am holding yoga poses even when the thoughts I am trying to avoid come up, I am making the scary moves to get my businesses off the ground, I am writing these blogs when I would rather binge watch Orange is the New Black. I am doing what I tell myself I will do.
And as a result, I like myself a whole lot more.